Tl;dr: if I am not fully convinced that you are making a serious professional inquiry—and instead are just fishing for a response or reaction from me, roleplaying at my inbox, or not providing any relevant logistical details—I will ignore you. Before emailing me: if you read this page, approach me in good faith, and demonstrate that you can follow directions, then everything will go fabulously.
DON’Ts: Here’s how to increase the likelihood that I’ll ignore your email
Here’s an easy one: “Hi wanna session with me lemme know lol kthxbye” or other one-line emails that tell me nothing re: who you are, what you’re looking for, where you’re looking to get it [again: in the subject line], whether you’ve got references [and who they are], let alone any other indication that you’re serious and not just trying to get my attention [read: waste my time]. I will not be baited into spending my free time indulging you in fantasy discussion, stalling, validation, or outrage under the guise of a session inquiry—period, the end.
Last-minute requests [e.g., “SF tonight?”] unless you’re a regular of mine [even if you are a regular, I can’t guarantee that I’ll see, nor that I can accommodate, short-notice requests—but you’re free to ask]
Calling me pet names, groveling, flirting, or negging. Emails == brass tacks. Emails != doing a scene.
Sending me unsolicited, detailed, raunchy fantasies. The reasons for describing your proclivities over email are to determine A. whether we’re a good fit [i.e., whether I can and will offer my services]; and B. if so, equipping me to come prepared to provide the best possible session for you. Emails are not where you inundate me with your self-written erotica. If I need/want you to elaborate at more length about your desires, I’ll ask or consent to you sharing. The times to chat more freely about what you’re into are A. after we’ve finalized a booking, and B. once we’re in person at our actual session.
Attaching or embedding any files or photos I haven’t asked for. I won’t open these.
DOs: Here’s how to become my new favorite client
Put the geographical area/city where you’re based—or would like to session—in the subject line of the email. Easy points for this one!
Proactively provide references [i.e., provide them without me having to ask you for them] in your first email
If you’re interested in anything that falls on my “Maybe” list [or that otherwise doesn’t clearly fall under either my “Yes” or “No” lists], bring it up early [ideally in your initial email]
Mention relevant proclivities and requests, but keep it succinct and matter-of-fact [see the bullet point re: unsolicited detailed fantasies]
In the spirit of the previous two bullet points: include as much useful, concrete information in your very first message to me as possible [suggestions are in the small print for the Message section of my contact form below].
Show up with good hygiene. Bare minimum: clean wrestling clothes and recently-brushed teeth. Some [not all] of my session locations have a shower that you’d be more than welcome to use before we hit the mats—ask in advance.
Extra credit: Instead of asking what my rates or policies are, verify that you’ve read my Sessions page and already know and agree to my policies and rates [otherwise, the first thing I’ll do is send you the link and tell you to read it before we proceed—you’ll win points if we can skip that extra step].
Extra-extra credit if you manage to make me laugh while abiding by the above.